Let’s Face It, English Is A Stupid Language
“There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn’t the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn’t a race at all.)
That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.”
I was talking with a few Romanian friends the other day, and in the multiple moments of them not being able to communicate exactly what they wanted to, I remembered this poem, something we look at every summer before teaching English. The English language frustrates me as a journalism major, so I can’t begin to understand how it frustrates someone trying to master its idiosyncrasies just for conversational purposes.
After our conversation I found myself thinking about how hard it is to try and communicate with someone when they just don’t understand what it is you’re trying to say or, as of lately, how it is that you’re feeling; how insatiably frustrating it is to not feel understood and therefore validated in those moments. And because my mind consistently runs in every which what direction, I landed at a point where I felt like this is where I am with the Lord right now. I feel like I’m trying my darndest to communicate what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling, and because I have yet to receive any acknowledgement for those scattered emotions, I’m left feeling like He just doesn’t get it.
Then I stumbled upon this piece, http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2012/01/the-beautiful-reason-god-might-not-be-talking-to-you-right-now/, in which Jon Acuff addresses the quietness that God sometimes leaves us with.
How often are we left dumbfounded, exhausted, frustrated and down-right angry when the Lord doesn’t answer our pleas? Or even when He does, just in unexpected ways. How often do we wonder if He is really listening because He leaves us in silence for a short time? I know I do. Far too often.
I’m led to wonder, what’s happening when I think nothing is happening?
Numbers 23:19
“God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?”
Matthew 6:26
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”
Reality check. He is listening. More intently than I know.
Reality check. God is preparing me for what He already has prepared for me.
Why worry that He isn’t actually hearing me?
